For Nikita

august 8, 1992
minneapolis, minnesota

bright, scorching
august heat
happy children
swimming, diving into
aqua chlorine waters
teeming with youth
listening under the umbrella
of chatter, laughter
reading peretti's prophet,
struggling to hear
the voice

lifeguard warning
clear the pool
little body lifted
from the watery playground grave
by a stunned teen boy
trained, prepared for all,
but this
laid upon the concrete altar
laid too near me
a lifeless, stiffening
girl of five
maybe six
minutes from her last
laughing
gleeful dive
lying there

silence everyone
is staring
forever

mind is
screaming
THERE ISN'T ANY TIME. START CPR!!!

mouth
is silent
ear
is on her
silent chest

silence
horrible ugly silence

mind is frantic
digging through dresser drawers
flinging mismatched socks
late to school
larger than an infant
smaller than an adult
fingers?
full palm?
fingers
find the sternum
count the fingers
use the palms
interlocked
press into the little chest
not too far

press again

far away he is
mouth to mouth

the dead girl's little brother
circles
calling
pleading
BREATH, NIKITA,BREATH!

press again

listen to the
silent chest

silent still

press

press

press

listen
silence
press

press

press

listen
thump

what was that?

thump

is that my heart?

thump

thump

thump thump thump
ka-thump ka-thump ka-thump

she moves
she flails
vomiting
choking

she breathes
as paramedics arrive

withdraw
shake hands
the crowd applauds
the sirens scream

back to the book
lay down
try to read
get up
slip into the pool
cover face with hands
weep uncontrollably

© 1997 William Edward Isles